Tuesday, 14 March 2017

Don't go where you are tolerated..Go where you are celebrated..:)
Using someone else's ruler to measure your self-worth will always keep you short..
Others know u since 2-3years or say a month but u know urself since birth toh kaun jaanta hai aapko aapse behtar ? Koi nahi na.. Fir bhala kyu bura maanna kisi ki baat ka ?
Log aaj aapko jhaad pe chadha denge aur kal gira denge..Aaj unki tareef pe agar khush honge aap toh kal jab wo bura bolenge aapko toh aap royenge that's y "Be independent of others' good or bad opinion about you.."..
No one knows you better than you, yourself..
Only you will be there for you till the end so be there for yourself even when no one else is coz Aap hain tabhi Duniya hai..:)

Wednesday, 25 January 2017

U think u can motivate me..Oh ! Come on..I motivate myself (Read Intrinsic Motivation).


Invariably you hear others telling people what to do. A better approach would be asking "Why don't you..?" I believe most people already know what to do. If you ask a person on the street , they will give you all the right answers. Ask them are they doing it. Probably not. So what's missing is the motivation. Now the question is can we motivate people ? Answer is absolutely not. Why ?

 We can inspire people to motivate themselves. Motivation is action. I can't act for you. You gotta act for yourself but inspiration is thinking.



When thinking changes, it starts reflecting in behavior. It's more lasting and prominent. That's what people are looking for. Aren't they ? It raises two major questions.
1) Why do people get demotivated ?
2) Who or what motivates the motivator ?
Till we understand what motivates the motivator, we cannot get the autopilot & unless we get an autopilot, how long can we expect others to push us from outside ? It doesn't work.

Intrinsic/Autonomous motivation is the desired type of motivation for study as it is associated with deep learning, better performance and positive well-being completing a skill or activity based on personal interest and enjoyment not for external rewards but because you find it interesting & deeply valuable for yourself. You are there completely because that’s what you want to do. It is dependent on the fulfillment of three basic psychological needs for autonomy, competence and relatedness.
We don’t have to motivate them. We have to support them in their motivation.

Ways to cultivate intrinsic motivation in students:

  1. Begin by knowing how they see things. Identify and nurture what students need and want.The typical approach is I know how I see things & I use it on the kid. How about if you put that aside for the time being & ask them how do they see the situation. What as per them is important for them & once u know that , you can have so much better conversation in terms of trying to support them & move them forward with whatever we r trying to accomplish here.
  2. A Higher Purpose. Students who feel that they are working towards the greater good, or something larger than themselves, may have an easier time staying motivated.
  3. Model intrinsic behavior yourself. Educators’ demonstration of how they approach work, their expectations, values, and beliefs can be transmitted to students and facilitate their intrinsic motivation as we need to practice what we preach.
  4. Educate them on the cause-and-effect relationships between what they are doing and things that happen in real life : When you are working on a certain activity, explain to the student why you are doing that specific activity and how it will help him/her in their everyday life.
  5. Encourage students to compete against themselves. Just as a runner, jumper, or thrower not only competes against others but also tries to achieve a new personal record, intrinsically motivated students are always hoping to better themselves.
  6. Teach self direction: Everyone feels a larger sense of accomplishment when you are able to do something all by yourself.
  7. Let them take their own decisions : Obstacles will surely come in whatever we do but if we take our own decisions then we will carry it out with more conviction & we won’t blame anyone later on. It will build a sense of responsibility.
  8. Direct with ‘can, may, could’ instead of ‘must, need,should’ : Autonomy-supportive teaching behavior would entail the use of words like: ‘you can learn this’, ‘maybe you could do it in this way’, ‘it is your choice’, ‘if you study this, it will increase your understanding of related conditions’. Phrasing comments and suggestions in the right way, i.e. which is not binding on the students, but gives them the chance to decide for themselves (hence autonomous), is very effective in enhancing their intrinsic motivation.
  9. Provide choices: Children can be more intrinsically motivated if they have a say in how they are accomplishing a goal. Try not to make any activity a requirement.
  10. Visualize and Conquer. Have your students visualize a moment in their lives when they felt very proud of themselves for an accomplishment. Then let them loose on a task.
  11. Make every student feel effective & capable. This may be a simple point, but it’s surely one of the most important. Some students feel incapable of completing a task before they even try it. The power of “You can do it” has perhaps been diluted over the years. Try “You’re capable,” which speaks not only to the task at hand but to the student’s sense of self-worth.
  12. Cooperation : Intrinsic motivation can be increased in situations where students gain satisfaction from helping their peers .
  13. Help students trust themselves to succeed. When students trust themselves to succeed at a task, they are more likely to challenge themselves in other situations. Be sure to recognize student achievement in terms of personal worth and not just success on a particular assignment; this will encourage the student to carry that confidence into other learning situations.
  14. Connect games and learning. You’ll agree that learning is fun. That’s why you are a teacher! But how do you expect her to feel that special little thrill you feel when you sit down in front of your morning crossword or watch Jeopardy at night? The truth is, she does feel the thrill – when she gets a new personal best in the 800 meter dash. Try to connect her motivation on the track with her motivation in learning. Acing the test may not make her feel quite as good as winning the championship, but the two drives are related.
  15. Give emotional support : Create an environment of emotional support for the students which entails creating a warm, positive and sharing atmosphere where students feel safe to express their feelings, doubts and questions. Having positive interaction with the teacher is likely to make students more interested in the subject matter. Create an environment where they motivate themselves.
  16. Give constructive feedback : Provide them positive feedback in a precise kind of way like “ I really appreciate the great job that you just did.” Specifically say what it is. When something goes wrong, tell them how can they do it better the next time. Let’s learn from it.
  17. Be genuinely interested in them : Respect them , Relate to them as human beings, talk to them in a way they feel that “Oh, This person is really interested in me..” Build a sort of a relationship where they can trust you & come & talk to you.

Saturday, 1 October 2016

So U say u r my friend..Is that So...Really ? Please stop kidding me..

Disclaimer- I really wanted to write on this & I don't really care what any1else thinks about me but I mean each & every word I write here..Straight out of my heart..
I often confuse the term acquaintances with friends..
Acquaintances jaan pehchaan wale hue..Friends is the term which has lost its meaning for me over a period of time..
Hote kaun hai friends ye aaj tak samajh nahi aaya..
FB, WhatsApp, hike wale kya friends hote hai..?
The smart phone is really smart when it says Contact list..Contacts hote hai aajkal generally..
V have at least 500-600ppl on r FB friendlist these days..
I bet half of them would not be happy to see u do well in life..
It's not about liking status updates & DP's.
I really feel averse to all sorts of friendships now in this mechanical world of social media (FB,whatsapp,hike or whatever) where if v need to talk to someone then v add them & if v r over with it then v block them.
It appears like buying something on Amazon - add to Cart or remove it..
It appears like v r dealing with gadgets that we can switch on & off whenever v feel like..
I don't feel that connect anymore..Smilies r there but smiles r missing..
Wo feel nahi aati jo u used to get when you have an heart to heart conversation with ur long lost buddy..

- ©Devika Tandon(DT)

Sunday, 7 August 2016

"Dunia k saamne bhi hum apna kahe jisey..
Koi aisa dost ho ki Sudama kahe jisey.." <3
Once upon a time I used to be all crazy about this so-called Friendship Day..till 2014 to be precise..I used to tag 100's of friends jisme se aadhe toh shayad uss post ka reply b nahi karte honge..:D
I used to spend hours in writing poems on friendship but as years rolled by, some ppl who I claimed were my best friends then are nowhere to be found now.
Who r ur friends ? kaam k time call karne wale log, who only flock around u when u r in the limelight when they want something from u....sirf friendship day wish karne wale log..samne achhe & peeche mazaak banane wale log..kabhi-2 milne but roz yaad aane wale log..hote kaun hai dost..?
If people are there with you only in their free time when they possibly have nothing else to do then they are not ur real friends baby..
How many people whom we call our friends would be there for us when we need them without checking their schedule..? Real friends r those who find time for you no matter how busy they are..
Kitne log hai jinhe aap call kar k bol sakte hai - "Bhai..aa k mil le mujhse..chal..chill karte hai..?
Kitne log aapse aa k poochte honge - " Bhai zinda hai tu ? "
True friends r those rare people who stand by you even when u have absolutely nothing. Ur company is all they want. They lift u up when u don't feel like moving out of ur shell. Friends tab bhi rehte hai jab logo k gf/bf chale jate hai toh friendship is above everything but krishna-Sudama wali dosti ab kam nazar aati hai..
Angrezo wale diwas ki sabhi 1din wale dosto ko hardik shubhkaamnaayein..
-Without any disclaimer,
Devika Tandon..

Wednesday, 29 June 2016

"Chalo hum hi pehel kar de ki humse badguma kyu ho.. Koi rishta zara si zidd k khatir raida kyu ho.." It is something which most of us must have gone through.. Many a times, our friendships fade away with time coz both of us wait for the other person to initiate.. We generally think ki "If they don't call or text me then why should I ? " May be the other person is genuinely facing a hard time then as a good friend we need to be there for them all the more instead of drifting away.. If the other person is ignoring you on purpose then it's a different story altogether but tab bhi royal behavior would be to not create negative vibes coz u will get back what u radiate out..Ego will tell you to copy their behavior but real self-respect would be in talking sweetly Dil se even if the other person is rude coz that's the real challenge. I respect myself for being good irrespective of how others' behave.. & u know what most people just copy ur behavior so "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.." Let's love, respect and admire the innate goodness in every soul.. -Devika Tandon(DT)

Sunday, 10 January 2016

Do u wanna find yourself ? If yes, then serve, be kind,show compassion and lose yourself in the service of others.

This is in reference to http://www.youthkiawaaz.com/




Is there Goodness left in this world ? Do you feel that people are becoming more selfish and evil, that there are few good souls left, and that everything is not as it once was ?


We often question the disappearance of humanity when our news feeds are flooded (literally and figuratively) with violence, atrocities, and disaster. It’s no wonder that dejection or desensitization are almost reflex reactions. But every now and then, we see a glimmer of hope, a beacon of faith in the sea of uncertainty and selfishness.

We all work for ourselves, but there are few among us who are not satisfied with living a self-centered life. These people work with grit and determination to bring about a change in our society - in whatever way possible.

I believe that nothing unites people quite like a common tragedy, a fact that has been proven several times over the years, and now most recently, in the deluge of Chennai.

A  number of legendary tales of bravery and heroism emerged from the flooded and battered capital of Tamil Nadu. These aren't just stories of exceptionally proficient relief operations that are being carried out by the armed forces of India, but common citizens from in and around the city who have been instrumental in aiding those, however they can, in deep water. Chennai has been fighting back like a braveheart as the Indian Army, the Indian Air Force, and the NDRF take charge in making the historic port city stand on its feet again.


Good Samaritans from all over the country contributed to the Chennai flood relief in their own small (or big) ways possible. We may share grieve and stand by the people of Chennai who have shown immense strength till now. But there are people who went out of the blue and did something which many would think a thousand times.






Ram Kashyap, resident of Bangalore is one such person. This guy did something that not many would dare to do. He had decided to wade across the troubled waters to help the citizens of Chennai, quite literally.
He shuttled between Bangalore and Chennai with the relief materials to provide respite to the affected persons stranded in Chennai.

On the first trip on December 3, he carried materials like food, containers, paper cups, umbrella and raincoat. In order to collect all the materials he wrote a Facebook post informing people about the plan.

 Thousands responded to his plea for help and proved that humanity still prevailed and people still cared. His post went viral. More than 1200 people contacted him and more than 250 donors volunteered to help people in Chennai by helping him collect all the essentials. Kashyap said that a lot of people donated cooked food, packaged foods, sanitary pads, diapers, medicines and other things. Ram Kashyap and his group had created 14 drop-off points in Bengaluru where people came and dropped their donations off. He and his friends made their bank account details public so that people could contribute for their fuel expenses and other logistics for their drive to Chennai.



 Chennai came back to normal. They managed to cover all the areas in Chennai. For a change we saw Chennai as a very different place.
1. Hindu, Muslim, Christians all were helping each other proving that humanity is the biggest religion.
2. More than people who were affected the volunteers mainly the youth were more in number.
Nobody had time for their family. They all had only one thing in common to say." I am helping here, there will be somebody helping my family too".
3. Girls and boys working the whole night together without girls being insecure. The guys took care that the girls were safe.

4. BANGALORE was like an official partner to help the city. Trucks and trucks of things were sent. There were many who traveled from Bangalore to Chennai to help them. Big Salute to them.
5. Parents who let their kids work no matter what time it was.
6. Before the government could react the youth finished the job itself. 




It is motivating and inspiring to see a city like this. Let what ever come we will be strong. Let's continue this.




Such strong-willed souls inspire us endlessly. The smallest effort can make a huge impact and Ram Kashyap has set an example for this. Kudos to you Ram for reinforcing our belief in goodness. What Ram Kashyap did inspires us that we don't need to have a hefty bank balance to help people in need. We can start anywhere. We just need to be willing to lend a helping hand to a soul in need. People like Ram prove that our world is still a beautiful place to live in.


Wednesday, 25 November 2015


I just don't understand Y ppl look down upon others in d name of religion.. Islam also teaches love n peace..
I don't think terrorists have any religion..
Every religion teaches us to spread love, kindness, universal brotherhood..
4me all religions r different paths that lead to the same destination..
I don't consider Hinduism superior to other religions coz acceptance is what makes India great..Unity in Integrity.. Everyone is different.. V all have different perspectives.. Let's understand, love n respect r differences.. Y fight in d name of religion? Religions were meant to unite us n not to divide us..
We don't need to prove others inferior so as to prove ourselves superior coz at the end of the day, we won't take r bank balance to the graveyard. V'l just carry our sanskaars n karmic accounts so lets focus on what really matters..