FRIENDSHIP # TRUST # LOVE # CUPIDITY# PASSION # BETRAYAL

This is written as a part of  the contest conducted by IndiBlogger & Being Social in association with Poonaam Uppal's True Love - A Mystical True Love Story on Flipkart. 
Topic : Yes or No to Pre-Marital Sex
 

Once upon a time there lived a girl named Ria. She irrevocably loved a guy called Jay.He was her best friend. She could do anything for him. She didn't know how he felt about her. She was always there for him whenever he needed her. He meant the world to her. He wanted to make out with her just for fun. For him, sex was like an exercise or a game for having fun or pleasure. She loved him dearly so she just wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. She used to fantasize about embracing & kissing him. For her, getting physical with him was an expression of the love she had for him..It was about being intimate with him- so close to him that no one could ever separate them. She just wanted to spend her entire life with him - taking care of him and being there for him till eternity.She wanted to marry him. He was the only guy she could picture herself with. Her mornings started with thoughts about him and her nights ended thinking about him. She could trust him blindly. But Jay had many other female friends with whom he used to go and make out with.He had no issues with one-night stands and having multiple partners.He wanted to explore others' sexual needs and for him it was just about having fun. He termed this as living in the present moment but he used to run away from making any sort of commitments. Jay and Ria used to spend time together whenever possible.

Once they went out for a movie.They took the corner seats as the love birds often do.Jay tried to get intimate with her.His hands moved at places it should not but Ria kept quiet as she thought that he loved her and so she told him "I'm all urs." She considered it to be an expression of love so she felt that if they love each other then there is nothing wrong in expressing it. For Ria, Jay was the best person in the entire world. She thought that he also loved her as he was always there for her. She felt that he made a move because he wanted to take their friendship/ relationship to the next level. She couldn't even imagine that Jay would betray or hurt her. She had no idea that Jay used to go out with other girls as he always pretended that she was the only one for him. On the coming Saturday, Ria's parents had to go out of town for some work. Ria told Jay about it. Jay said that he will come at her place when her parents would leave as he wanted to spend some time with her. Finally, the most awaited Saturday night arrived. Jay came at Ria's place. They had a lovely candle-light dinner watching "PS I Love You.." followed by a romantic ball-dance. The young lovers cuddled on the couch. Jay embraced & kissed Ria. In the heat of the moment, they couldn't resist the temptation.Jay wanted to have sex with her. Ria also couldn't hold back her feelings for him. She just wanted to melt into his arms - two bodies, one soul kind of a thing. She felt complete & fully alive with him. For Ria, it wasn't just sex. It was about expressing and letting him know how much she loved him. She felt that as they loved each other so he could touch her as she belonged to him and to no one else so they made love to each other. She felt that there was nothing wrong in getting intimate if you irrevocably & unconditionally love each other. She thought that they will get married sooner or later so there is nothing wrong in expressing it before tying the knot as long as you are sure about it.

They used precautions but unfortunately Ria got pregnant. She was just a college student. She couldn't tell this to her parents. She could just talk it out with Jay but he started ignoring her. When he came to know about it, he stopped responding to her messages & didn't attend her calls. She was completely devastated. Her world had fallen apart. Ria always believed that Jay would be there with her no matter what. Jay had also promised that he wouldn't leave her ever.He used to say that he would be her best friend till death. Jay's ignorance and change of behaviour came as a bolt from the blue for Ria. He wasn't there for her when she needed him the most. She used to cry endlessly. Her future looked bleak. She was surrounded by various questions. How will she face her parents ? How will her parents face the world? Will anyone accept her after hearing about this ? She felt like she wouldn't be able to trust or love anyone ever again. Abortion appeared as the only way out. After having abortion, Ria started having nightmares. A kid appeared in it and asked her that why did she rip the kid into pieces..? Why didn't she let her live and see the wonderful world..? The kid used to say that if you would have waited till marriage then I would have stayed alive. Why did u kill me ? What mistake did I commit ? I wanted to grow up to be a writer. Who gave you the right to kill me ? Ria felt that her life had no purpose so there was no use living. She had become like a living corpse. Ria committed suicide.
Now you can say that this is an extreme case.
Sex is something that's very personal. We all live in a democratic country where we have freedom to do whatever we want to do with our lives so no one else has the right to decide what we should do with our lives. I don't consider myself eligible to decide for another human being that how should he conduct his life. Yes or No to Pre-Marital Sex is the personal decision of the two lovers involved. Nobody else has the right to preach as to what they should do. We as friends, parents, well-wishers can tell them as to what we feel is right. We can tell them the pros and cons but ultimately its their personal decision because all of us have different sets of rights & wrongs. What is right as per me may not be right as per you and that's perfectly fine. Imagine a movie where every actor looked the same , had the same acting style and same dialogues. How would the movie be ? Boring, isn't it ? Our differences make us unique , special & interesting. If two souls love each other truly, unconditionally and irrevocably and if they wanna get intimate then its completely their choice. They should understand that its their conscious decision and they should be ready to face the consequences. If its consensual then you cannot play the blame game later on. The ideal situation is that a relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend culminates in a wedding (almost all of us want to have a Cinderella or Snowhite type of a story) but it doesn't always happen.

What if the guy leaves you after you have had sex with him ? How will you feel at that time ? You will feel like a tissue paper that has been used & thrown away. Would you be able to deal with the emotional baggage ? How would you feel if you get married to someone else ? If you have been so close and intimate with someone then how would it feel sharing your body with someone else ? Virginity after you lose it is something that you can't ever get back. Getting physical with someone (having sex) is something that should be done only with someone we truly love. For me, love is the pre-requisite. But in the so-called modern times, many people have multiple partners and one-night stands. They like having an option always available for them as they cannot control their overflowing hormones. Those weak souls become slaves of their senses. In the name of being cool, people are being used as toys and feelings are being played with. The right guy who really loves you will wait for you. I feel that we really need to differentiate between love and lust. If you really love someone then height, weight, color, creed doesn't really matter. You don't objectify ur beloved. Please try and understand whether they love you for you or do they want you for your body to please their senses. We can argue that having pre-marital sex with our beloved is obviously better than sleeping with a complete stranger after you have had an arranged marriage. It would be insane to say that having pre-marital sex with someone you love is immoral and it would be ethically alright having it with a complete stranger after wedding just because you have the tag of marriage.

Rediscover The Essence Of Happiness

Have you ever wondered - what is the real essence of happiness, what is and what is not real happiness? Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that he has enough happiness provided. Happiness, joy and love hold different meanings for each individual. A person may find happiness in shopping and another may find the same kind of pleasure in social work. But there are some aspects which have the capacity to at least put on a smile on every individual's face. Simple gestures like maybe a hug or a morning greeting. Going to each mate of yours at the work place or to each loved one at home every morning and greeting them with a huge smile on your face will bring you happiness as well as to the other person.

So, real happiness is not an external stimulation by watching an action movie or eating out or buying a new dress; it is not the result of acquiring something – whether it be a new car or a position, or of receiving some good news. True happiness is not relief from suffering – whether from an illness or a difficult situation, nor is it the achievement of a goal – whether personal or professional. All these are externally dependent, where happiness is confused with stimulation, excitement, achievement, acquisition or relief. Happiness is not all of these. You commonly say "Well, what I like best," … just then stop and think. Because although each of the above episodes bring us happiness, there is a moment just before you begin to enjoy the episode which is better than when you are enjoying the episode, but you don’t know what its called or what it feels like to enjoy that. Each one of us can experience that joy, we just need to find it. Remember that happiness is not a future promise. It can only be experienced now, in each and every mundane action of the day.


Loving your life is about trusting your instinct, taking the odd chance in difficult situations, loving and experiencing joy, enjoying memories of good actions and episodes of life and learning through life time experiences. The birds chirping on the tree, a child nibbling on her mother or merry children spilling out of their homes, all have the capability to make a person feel happy. We just neglect most of these. Nowadays, we try and look for joy in bonuses, promotions or any monetary gain. But can money really buy happiness? Sometimes you see poor people laughing carelessly while they play with their children and experiencing happiness. On the other hand, children from well off families are surrounded with technology today. Technology has created such an influence in an individual’s life that people have almost abandoned their family time. The time of the day that bought so much laughing and giggling in the house is now substituted with members glued to television or mobile phones. Festivals that were the major joyful events have now lost their essence. They are merely days of more worry and tensions because of the new trends of exchanging expensive gifts or celebrating them lavishly.

So what is real happiness - perhaps a better way to describe happiness in its true essence is contentment. This comes from a complete awareness and acceptance of the self as we are now at an internal level, and an acceptance of 'what is' at an external level. Sounds difficult? The highest happiness is bliss which can be experienced only when the self is totally free of all attachment and dependency. Sounds even more difficult? But this is a real understanding and definition of happiness, which is not difficult to accept and make a part of our life, once there is a deep understanding, absorption and appreciation of the divine wisdom of the self and others as well as the laws of action and time involving both of them i.e. wisdom which is accurate and complete in all aspects. Real happiness is a direct result of this divine wisdom.

 When you feel stuck in a hard time, jump-start a pro-change attitude by letting go or shedding off your attachment to possessions and people (external attachments) and habits (internal attachments) that no longer work for you. When you get rid of your attachment to physical things and people and emotional habits that weigh you down, and start to feel lighter — you’ll witness how by letting go, you’re making room for new things, new values to enter your life. As a result, your subconscious will be relieved by letting go of emotional burdens or bondages.

To achieve the above purpose, try the short meditation below. Think as well as visualize alongside the following thoughts:

I become aware of myself as a tiny sparkling star of light, an energy, situated just above the eyebrows – a soul... In soul consciousness, I experience the beauty of the many qualities like peace, love and joy; of the spiritual being that I am... Now, with the medium of visualization, I, the soul, travel beyond the world of 5 elements to the soul world, a non-physical dimension of the subtle light of golden red hue (shade)… Over there, I visualize, in front of me – a sparkling Sun of golden light - God, the Father and Mother of me, the Supreme Soul, the ocean of peace, love and joy, which is His eternal nature... He radiates the immense spiritual energy of peace, love and joy... I turn my mind and intellect to His light... I feel the warmth of His presence and the light of His love for me gently healing the wounds of the past that are buried deep inside me, the soul... wounds left by ego, fear, sorrow, jealousy, hatred, anger that have reduced my happiness all this while… I feel a deep feeling of emotional freedom inside me, I feel light and my happiness is restored…

Fortunately, being happy is a cakewalk but it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you better stop worrying about it and see what treasures (whether your internal ones or the external ones i.e. from the Supreme and others) you can tap into.

Detached Observation – A Spiritual Skill

Detachment is the basis of our ability to be positive and affectionate with others while we interact with them. This is what is known as commitment and the relationship of detachment and it begins with what is known as a spiritual skill: the skill of being a detached observer.

On needs to be a detached observer in two dimensions: one within and one outside:
The inner art of detached observation is the ability of separating ourselves from our own thoughts, emotions, attitudes and behavior. On the external level, the art of detached observation is the art of being witness to the scenes that take place around us. While we detach ourselves and observe how the game of life develops, without being active participants, we are able to see the "big picture" with greater clarity. That makes it easier to see clearly what role we have to play and where our contribution lies. We are creators, and our thoughts, emotions and attitudes are our own work.

In reality, detached observation is the first step towards personal strengthening. If we don't manage to detach ourselves from our thoughts and emotions, they will turn into our owners and will consume our energy.

For the practice of meditation it is essential that you act as a witness of everything you think and feel, and, once some time has passed, you will find that the practice simultaneously frees you and offers power.


The one who does not wait for others to change to bring a change in the self is the one who really brings benefit to others.

Checking: Think of all the things you would like to change but are not able to. Now ask yourself why you are not able to bring about a change - is it because you are waiting for others to change before you change yourself.

Practice: Take any one thing that you would like to change and tell yourself, " I will change and seeing me the others will change too. I am the leader who inspires others to change, I will not wait for others."

Spiritual Vision

A simple definition of spiritual vision is that I see the best in others. A parameter of proving to myself that I have a spiritual vision and I am seeing the best in others is that I naturally thank and praise rather than criticize those with whom I interact at home or at the workplace on a daily basis – even though I may see obvious negative characteristics in them and experience negative behavior from them. Keep a daily chart of the three points, for three people close to you, below for one week. Every night, fill this chart up for the day that’s just gone by.

1. Name of person and relationship
2. How did I thank or praise him/her?
3. What was this person's response?

Remember that although you may be constantly positive with others, constantly seeing their original spiritual qualities, it may take time for your positive energy to transform them and for them to start transmitting positive energy back to you and start behaving positively with you. At the end of the week, check what benefits did you and others experience from this exercise.

Become a true well-wisher who transforms others' attitude with your good wishes.

Checking: In your interactions throughout the day, check if your feelings towards someone are negative. Also check if you are expecting someone to change his or her attitude or behaviour.

Practice: Tell yourself each day, "Just as a powerful bulb when switched on transforms darkness into light in a second, there's so much power in my good wishes that they can transform others' negative attitude into positive in one second." 

Breaking The Cycle Of Negative Energy Exchanges

We all know that every individual is inherently good. A little shade of the incorrect or improper personality exists inside each one, however light the shade is. We also know that this shade was not there originally in the soul but is an acquired one. And also the person with the shade does become aware of it in times of solitude and also is making an effort to remove it so that no discomfort or sorrow is caused to anyone because of it. Along with the negative shades every person possesses many positive personality traits which are their strengths. Now when we are having an exchange of negative energies with such a person, what does a spiritually sensible person do, look at those light shades of negativity which are coming into action at that time or focus on so many positive colours of the personality of the other, colours that we have seen or heard about from others many times in the past. Also, an accompanied realization that even I have my share of negative shades which I am working on erasing, makes this vision easy to practice.

Practiced consistently, this kind of positive vision accompanied by a deep hearted appreciation of the positive personality colours of the other person is mercy in action, which is a shade of pure soul-to-soul love. Such appreciation makes it easier for others to reflect on and see what they need to do to change. But the first impact of this appreciation is on me, in keeping me free of negative and waste internally. So appreciating the other’s strengths in my mind and emerging them in my consciousness at such a time is very important as this not only keeps my perception, which is susceptible to being influenced by the negative at that time, clean, but also reaches the other person on a vibrational level and he/she is inspired and empowered to bring those strengths into action, as a result playing his/her part to end the negative energy exchange. This is spirituality at its most magical. I'll not only have removed a source of pain, which is the negative shade of the other’s personality in this case, which is coming into action; I'll have grown spiritually as well.


Become the ones who make efforts continuously and experience constant self-progress.

Checking: Check if there is any doubt within you whether you'll succeed or not. If there is any such doubt it means that your effort is not continuous. Where there is constant effort you experience constant progress.

Practice: Each day remind yourself of at least one thing that you have achieved for the day. When you make a habit in this way, you will be able to notice and experience the fruit of the effort that you put in.