FRIENDSHIP # TRUST # LOVE # CUPIDITY# PASSION # BETRAYAL

This is written as a part of  the contest conducted by IndiBlogger & Being Social in association with Poonaam Uppal's True Love - A Mystical True Love Story on Flipkart. 
Topic : Yes or No to Pre-Marital Sex
 

Once upon a time there lived a girl named Ria. She irrevocably loved a guy called Jay.He was her best friend. She could do anything for him. She didn't know how he felt about her. She was always there for him whenever he needed her. He meant the world to her. He wanted to make out with her just for fun. For him, sex was like an exercise or a game for having fun or pleasure. She loved him dearly so she just wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. She used to fantasize about embracing & kissing him. For her, getting physical with him was an expression of the love she had for him..It was about being intimate with him- so close to him that no one could ever separate them. She just wanted to spend her entire life with him - taking care of him and being there for him till eternity.She wanted to marry him. He was the only guy she could picture herself with. Her mornings started with thoughts about him and her nights ended thinking about him. She could trust him blindly. But Jay had many other female friends with whom he used to go and make out with.He had no issues with one-night stands and having multiple partners.He wanted to explore others' sexual needs and for him it was just about having fun. He termed this as living in the present moment but he used to run away from making any sort of commitments. Jay and Ria used to spend time together whenever possible.

Once they went out for a movie.They took the corner seats as the love birds often do.Jay tried to get intimate with her.His hands moved at places it should not but Ria kept quiet as she thought that he loved her and so she told him "I'm all urs." She considered it to be an expression of love so she felt that if they love each other then there is nothing wrong in expressing it. For Ria, Jay was the best person in the entire world. She thought that he also loved her as he was always there for her. She felt that he made a move because he wanted to take their friendship/ relationship to the next level. She couldn't even imagine that Jay would betray or hurt her. She had no idea that Jay used to go out with other girls as he always pretended that she was the only one for him. On the coming Saturday, Ria's parents had to go out of town for some work. Ria told Jay about it. Jay said that he will come at her place when her parents would leave as he wanted to spend some time with her. Finally, the most awaited Saturday night arrived. Jay came at Ria's place. They had a lovely candle-light dinner watching "PS I Love You.." followed by a romantic ball-dance. The young lovers cuddled on the couch. Jay embraced & kissed Ria. In the heat of the moment, they couldn't resist the temptation.Jay wanted to have sex with her. Ria also couldn't hold back her feelings for him. She just wanted to melt into his arms - two bodies, one soul kind of a thing. She felt complete & fully alive with him. For Ria, it wasn't just sex. It was about expressing and letting him know how much she loved him. She felt that as they loved each other so he could touch her as she belonged to him and to no one else so they made love to each other. She felt that there was nothing wrong in getting intimate if you irrevocably & unconditionally love each other. She thought that they will get married sooner or later so there is nothing wrong in expressing it before tying the knot as long as you are sure about it.

They used precautions but unfortunately Ria got pregnant. She was just a college student. She couldn't tell this to her parents. She could just talk it out with Jay but he started ignoring her. When he came to know about it, he stopped responding to her messages & didn't attend her calls. She was completely devastated. Her world had fallen apart. Ria always believed that Jay would be there with her no matter what. Jay had also promised that he wouldn't leave her ever.He used to say that he would be her best friend till death. Jay's ignorance and change of behaviour came as a bolt from the blue for Ria. He wasn't there for her when she needed him the most. She used to cry endlessly. Her future looked bleak. She was surrounded by various questions. How will she face her parents ? How will her parents face the world? Will anyone accept her after hearing about this ? She felt like she wouldn't be able to trust or love anyone ever again. Abortion appeared as the only way out. After having abortion, Ria started having nightmares. A kid appeared in it and asked her that why did she rip the kid into pieces..? Why didn't she let her live and see the wonderful world..? The kid used to say that if you would have waited till marriage then I would have stayed alive. Why did u kill me ? What mistake did I commit ? I wanted to grow up to be a writer. Who gave you the right to kill me ? Ria felt that her life had no purpose so there was no use living. She had become like a living corpse. Ria committed suicide.
Now you can say that this is an extreme case.
Sex is something that's very personal. We all live in a democratic country where we have freedom to do whatever we want to do with our lives so no one else has the right to decide what we should do with our lives. I don't consider myself eligible to decide for another human being that how should he conduct his life. Yes or No to Pre-Marital Sex is the personal decision of the two lovers involved. Nobody else has the right to preach as to what they should do. We as friends, parents, well-wishers can tell them as to what we feel is right. We can tell them the pros and cons but ultimately its their personal decision because all of us have different sets of rights & wrongs. What is right as per me may not be right as per you and that's perfectly fine. Imagine a movie where every actor looked the same , had the same acting style and same dialogues. How would the movie be ? Boring, isn't it ? Our differences make us unique , special & interesting. If two souls love each other truly, unconditionally and irrevocably and if they wanna get intimate then its completely their choice. They should understand that its their conscious decision and they should be ready to face the consequences. If its consensual then you cannot play the blame game later on. The ideal situation is that a relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend culminates in a wedding (almost all of us want to have a Cinderella or Snowhite type of a story) but it doesn't always happen.

What if the guy leaves you after you have had sex with him ? How will you feel at that time ? You will feel like a tissue paper that has been used & thrown away. Would you be able to deal with the emotional baggage ? How would you feel if you get married to someone else ? If you have been so close and intimate with someone then how would it feel sharing your body with someone else ? Virginity after you lose it is something that you can't ever get back. Getting physical with someone (having sex) is something that should be done only with someone we truly love. For me, love is the pre-requisite. But in the so-called modern times, many people have multiple partners and one-night stands. They like having an option always available for them as they cannot control their overflowing hormones. Those weak souls become slaves of their senses. In the name of being cool, people are being used as toys and feelings are being played with. The right guy who really loves you will wait for you. I feel that we really need to differentiate between love and lust. If you really love someone then height, weight, color, creed doesn't really matter. You don't objectify ur beloved. Please try and understand whether they love you for you or do they want you for your body to please their senses. We can argue that having pre-marital sex with our beloved is obviously better than sleeping with a complete stranger after you have had an arranged marriage. It would be insane to say that having pre-marital sex with someone you love is immoral and it would be ethically alright having it with a complete stranger after wedding just because you have the tag of marriage.

Rediscover The Essence Of Happiness

Have you ever wondered - what is the real essence of happiness, what is and what is not real happiness? Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that he has enough happiness provided. Happiness, joy and love hold different meanings for each individual. A person may find happiness in shopping and another may find the same kind of pleasure in social work. But there are some aspects which have the capacity to at least put on a smile on every individual's face. Simple gestures like maybe a hug or a morning greeting. Going to each mate of yours at the work place or to each loved one at home every morning and greeting them with a huge smile on your face will bring you happiness as well as to the other person.

So, real happiness is not an external stimulation by watching an action movie or eating out or buying a new dress; it is not the result of acquiring something – whether it be a new car or a position, or of receiving some good news. True happiness is not relief from suffering – whether from an illness or a difficult situation, nor is it the achievement of a goal – whether personal or professional. All these are externally dependent, where happiness is confused with stimulation, excitement, achievement, acquisition or relief. Happiness is not all of these. You commonly say "Well, what I like best," … just then stop and think. Because although each of the above episodes bring us happiness, there is a moment just before you begin to enjoy the episode which is better than when you are enjoying the episode, but you don’t know what its called or what it feels like to enjoy that. Each one of us can experience that joy, we just need to find it. Remember that happiness is not a future promise. It can only be experienced now, in each and every mundane action of the day.


Loving your life is about trusting your instinct, taking the odd chance in difficult situations, loving and experiencing joy, enjoying memories of good actions and episodes of life and learning through life time experiences. The birds chirping on the tree, a child nibbling on her mother or merry children spilling out of their homes, all have the capability to make a person feel happy. We just neglect most of these. Nowadays, we try and look for joy in bonuses, promotions or any monetary gain. But can money really buy happiness? Sometimes you see poor people laughing carelessly while they play with their children and experiencing happiness. On the other hand, children from well off families are surrounded with technology today. Technology has created such an influence in an individual’s life that people have almost abandoned their family time. The time of the day that bought so much laughing and giggling in the house is now substituted with members glued to television or mobile phones. Festivals that were the major joyful events have now lost their essence. They are merely days of more worry and tensions because of the new trends of exchanging expensive gifts or celebrating them lavishly.

So what is real happiness - perhaps a better way to describe happiness in its true essence is contentment. This comes from a complete awareness and acceptance of the self as we are now at an internal level, and an acceptance of 'what is' at an external level. Sounds difficult? The highest happiness is bliss which can be experienced only when the self is totally free of all attachment and dependency. Sounds even more difficult? But this is a real understanding and definition of happiness, which is not difficult to accept and make a part of our life, once there is a deep understanding, absorption and appreciation of the divine wisdom of the self and others as well as the laws of action and time involving both of them i.e. wisdom which is accurate and complete in all aspects. Real happiness is a direct result of this divine wisdom.

 When you feel stuck in a hard time, jump-start a pro-change attitude by letting go or shedding off your attachment to possessions and people (external attachments) and habits (internal attachments) that no longer work for you. When you get rid of your attachment to physical things and people and emotional habits that weigh you down, and start to feel lighter — you’ll witness how by letting go, you’re making room for new things, new values to enter your life. As a result, your subconscious will be relieved by letting go of emotional burdens or bondages.

To achieve the above purpose, try the short meditation below. Think as well as visualize alongside the following thoughts:

I become aware of myself as a tiny sparkling star of light, an energy, situated just above the eyebrows – a soul... In soul consciousness, I experience the beauty of the many qualities like peace, love and joy; of the spiritual being that I am... Now, with the medium of visualization, I, the soul, travel beyond the world of 5 elements to the soul world, a non-physical dimension of the subtle light of golden red hue (shade)… Over there, I visualize, in front of me – a sparkling Sun of golden light - God, the Father and Mother of me, the Supreme Soul, the ocean of peace, love and joy, which is His eternal nature... He radiates the immense spiritual energy of peace, love and joy... I turn my mind and intellect to His light... I feel the warmth of His presence and the light of His love for me gently healing the wounds of the past that are buried deep inside me, the soul... wounds left by ego, fear, sorrow, jealousy, hatred, anger that have reduced my happiness all this while… I feel a deep feeling of emotional freedom inside me, I feel light and my happiness is restored…

Fortunately, being happy is a cakewalk but it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you better stop worrying about it and see what treasures (whether your internal ones or the external ones i.e. from the Supreme and others) you can tap into.

Detached Observation – A Spiritual Skill

Detachment is the basis of our ability to be positive and affectionate with others while we interact with them. This is what is known as commitment and the relationship of detachment and it begins with what is known as a spiritual skill: the skill of being a detached observer.

On needs to be a detached observer in two dimensions: one within and one outside:
The inner art of detached observation is the ability of separating ourselves from our own thoughts, emotions, attitudes and behavior. On the external level, the art of detached observation is the art of being witness to the scenes that take place around us. While we detach ourselves and observe how the game of life develops, without being active participants, we are able to see the "big picture" with greater clarity. That makes it easier to see clearly what role we have to play and where our contribution lies. We are creators, and our thoughts, emotions and attitudes are our own work.

In reality, detached observation is the first step towards personal strengthening. If we don't manage to detach ourselves from our thoughts and emotions, they will turn into our owners and will consume our energy.

For the practice of meditation it is essential that you act as a witness of everything you think and feel, and, once some time has passed, you will find that the practice simultaneously frees you and offers power.


The one who does not wait for others to change to bring a change in the self is the one who really brings benefit to others.

Checking: Think of all the things you would like to change but are not able to. Now ask yourself why you are not able to bring about a change - is it because you are waiting for others to change before you change yourself.

Practice: Take any one thing that you would like to change and tell yourself, " I will change and seeing me the others will change too. I am the leader who inspires others to change, I will not wait for others."

Spiritual Vision

A simple definition of spiritual vision is that I see the best in others. A parameter of proving to myself that I have a spiritual vision and I am seeing the best in others is that I naturally thank and praise rather than criticize those with whom I interact at home or at the workplace on a daily basis – even though I may see obvious negative characteristics in them and experience negative behavior from them. Keep a daily chart of the three points, for three people close to you, below for one week. Every night, fill this chart up for the day that’s just gone by.

1. Name of person and relationship
2. How did I thank or praise him/her?
3. What was this person's response?

Remember that although you may be constantly positive with others, constantly seeing their original spiritual qualities, it may take time for your positive energy to transform them and for them to start transmitting positive energy back to you and start behaving positively with you. At the end of the week, check what benefits did you and others experience from this exercise.

Become a true well-wisher who transforms others' attitude with your good wishes.

Checking: In your interactions throughout the day, check if your feelings towards someone are negative. Also check if you are expecting someone to change his or her attitude or behaviour.

Practice: Tell yourself each day, "Just as a powerful bulb when switched on transforms darkness into light in a second, there's so much power in my good wishes that they can transform others' negative attitude into positive in one second." 

Breaking The Cycle Of Negative Energy Exchanges

We all know that every individual is inherently good. A little shade of the incorrect or improper personality exists inside each one, however light the shade is. We also know that this shade was not there originally in the soul but is an acquired one. And also the person with the shade does become aware of it in times of solitude and also is making an effort to remove it so that no discomfort or sorrow is caused to anyone because of it. Along with the negative shades every person possesses many positive personality traits which are their strengths. Now when we are having an exchange of negative energies with such a person, what does a spiritually sensible person do, look at those light shades of negativity which are coming into action at that time or focus on so many positive colours of the personality of the other, colours that we have seen or heard about from others many times in the past. Also, an accompanied realization that even I have my share of negative shades which I am working on erasing, makes this vision easy to practice.

Practiced consistently, this kind of positive vision accompanied by a deep hearted appreciation of the positive personality colours of the other person is mercy in action, which is a shade of pure soul-to-soul love. Such appreciation makes it easier for others to reflect on and see what they need to do to change. But the first impact of this appreciation is on me, in keeping me free of negative and waste internally. So appreciating the other’s strengths in my mind and emerging them in my consciousness at such a time is very important as this not only keeps my perception, which is susceptible to being influenced by the negative at that time, clean, but also reaches the other person on a vibrational level and he/she is inspired and empowered to bring those strengths into action, as a result playing his/her part to end the negative energy exchange. This is spirituality at its most magical. I'll not only have removed a source of pain, which is the negative shade of the other’s personality in this case, which is coming into action; I'll have grown spiritually as well.


Become the ones who make efforts continuously and experience constant self-progress.

Checking: Check if there is any doubt within you whether you'll succeed or not. If there is any such doubt it means that your effort is not continuous. Where there is constant effort you experience constant progress.

Practice: Each day remind yourself of at least one thing that you have achieved for the day. When you make a habit in this way, you will be able to notice and experience the fruit of the effort that you put in.

Those 3 Magical Words " I LOVE YOU !!! "

Those 3Magical Words as I see it..

 (Love is a feeling that can b 4ur country, ur parents, friends not only about life partners n I'm not talking about Romantic flings.. Until u love urself,u cant love any1 else..)
When I say "I Love U" den it means I love U as U r without any terms n conditions whatsoever..
Though I dont prefer speaking it up but I'd rather prefer showing it or bringing it into action ie. doing whatever I can do 4them selflessly without any expectations whatsoever..
Its said that "Love me when I deserve it d least coz its then when I need it d most.."
If I love U only when U work as per my set of rights n wrongs then that's not love,that's business..
When some1close2us makes a mistake then they r already in guilt..Dey need r love n support2come out of it..but majority of us tell them "I didn't expect this 4m U..U hv changed..I dont want2b wid U.."
Now c how damaging dis is 4d soul..Its d time when v ought2empower dem by r love n support but instead v ourselves go in2hurt n add pain to their pain..so v need2ask ourselves that "Are v really playing our part well n r v really there4ppl whom v claim2love..? "

I feel that if I really love U then I love U with all ur imperfections n flaws coz all of us hv r share of strengths n weaknesses..regardless of d circumstances..notwithstanding d conditions..dts true love I guess..Its all about sending pure positive vibes n unconditional acceptance..dts how I interpret it..
It has nothing 2do with d statistics,color,height,weight,bank balance,Jaguar..
Its just a silent promise that "I will b there 4U no matter what happens..That would be irrevocable n unconditional love.."

I had d illusion that I loved a lot of ppl - family,best friends, friends etc. but I heard something n it got me thinking.."If U dont love urself then U cant love any1 else" Yes.. coz how can U give something that U dont have..?
As per d old beliefs, ppl mostly felt that taking care of urself n loving urself would sound selfish but this line made me contemplate..
I thought that I need2hv a reality check that if presently I dont even accept myself 4who I am n hvnt learnt d art of loving myself then how can I claim that I love others..?
Hum apne aap se din bhar baat karte hai n dusro se toh kuch time k liye hi interact karte h..Anything that v repeatedly do becomes our habit(our sanskaars)..The energy that v create 4ourselves would become our aura n it'l b radiated2others..
Apne ko Disrespect karte h toh dusre k liye Respect possible nahi h..
Apne ko Criticize karte h toh Dusro ko Appreciate karna Possible nahi h..
V can use v.gud words but r energy wud b critical coz it has become r aura n our Relationships r based on d energy that v send2others..Jo Perfume laga rhe ho aap usi ki smell radiate kar sakte ho..kisi aur perfume ki nahi..
Even in a flight u r told2put ur own Oxygen Mask 1st of all coz if U r not alive urself then how can U save others..?
Jo cheez humare pass hai hi nahi wo dusro ko kaise denge..? so if I dont create loveful thoughts4myself then how can I love any1else?
So, Gently say2urself "I love U before U say it to anyone else..!!! "

Ganesh Ji Maatha broad - symbol/prateek of wisdom
Small eyes-symbol of focus,concentration,far-sightedness,think about future long term consequences of ur present actions coz v'l just carry only r karmic a/c's n sanskaars with us wen v die..
Kaan Bade Muh Chhota- Listen more dan u speak..Speak softly,slowly n less..Only if u'l listen den cn u understand wat d other prsn wants2tell u. Dont frame ur reply while d other prsn is spkg..just listen..
Soop jaise kaan- Soop ki tarah chhaan le..filter d info dt u tk in..Hear only wats imp n gud..kisi ki buraiyo ka chintan na kare coz wo aapke chit ka hissa ban jayega..dnt tk in criticism n negativity.
Ek dant - Finish Duality..Bhed bhaav khatam karo..Chhota bada,ooch neech,ameer gareeb,hindu muslim,mota patla,kaala gora-stop..naam n positions me mat faso,remove d labels..b soul-conscious n not body conscious..V r all beautiful,powerful,pure souls..Unity..Vasudhaiv Kutumbkam..
Soodhh (trunk) - Soodhh sui b utha sakti h n Vriksha b ukhaad sakti hai..Phool b utha sakti h & kisi ko gira b sakti h..ie. u hv2decide where to be soft n where2b strong..Some ppl think dt being spiritual mks a prsn weak..dunia me rahi nhi payega bechara..aisa nhi h..A prsn who is truly spiritual will b soft no doubt but he'l also hv d same deal of strength n most imp he has d wisdom of deciding where2b soft n where2b strong.
Axe-Past Karmic A/c ko kaate..face gyaan ki buddhi se..Bada Pet- Acceptance-accept all..
1hath me rassi-jis aatma ko wisdom n divine qualities pe chalna h dey need2hv a disciplined life-maryada me baandhna..
Trishool-past me kia hua karm mere samne aaya-uska result,present karma, future conseqences,jo teer wapas aaya h wo maine hi kabhi bheja tha ab aaya..dnt say y me..ye maine past me kia..hw2respond nw ?
Mera past,present n future..hw2respond in present..
Modak-mehnat-constant attention n constant effort toh safalta aap k hath me..safalra k sath aayi mahima naam maan shaan ko na sweekaro..parmatma ne humse karaya ye..no pride,humility..gyaan ka ahankar nhi.. Lotus(Kamal Pushp)- kamal keechad se ugta h n pyara b rehta h..uska patta pani absorb nhi karta..purity..jeevan ko pure n powrful..bhagna nhi jaagna.. Hath saamne ki taraf-accept every1as dey r,duae so sabko..vardaan do jaisi b ho..blessings.best wishes.. 1paav upar 1neeche-dunia me rehna n usse upar b.. ganesh ji chuhe pe baithe : constant nibble-sense organs ka prateek,jo kamzor atma apni karmindriyo pe control nhi kar pati..control..chuha area numb kar deta h..chuhe kaalo kutarne wala..wisdom dharan toh us chuhe pe sense organs pe raaj karega..
riddhi n siddhi- perfection,prosperity n success if u implement all..
ganesh ji maat pita ka chakkar laga le puri dunia ka chakkar lag gya - God se connection..mera ho k toh dekho sabko tumhara na bana du toh kehna..
Vighna Vinashak-ye sab kar k apne jeevan k vikaro vighno ka vinaash kar degi..success will always b urs..safalta nischit.. Let wisdom b der in my every thought,word n action..

LIFE IS NOT A COMPETITION

"Life is a competition.." is a line that all of us must have heard..

 Competition- taught to us probably when we were in kindergarten, first or second class..
We were taught "its a competition & u have to win" & we were not talking about sports at that time..We were talking about marks, comparison with others..U have to come first - better than the best & then this came to every sphere of life. It wasn't only at work place.It started happening between friends.It started happening between brothers & sisters - even between a mother & her daughter.

 This word has come out everywhere in our vocabulary. One belief system which is not true that "life is a competition" is so critical that it has lead to so much stress in our life. We have fitted this belief system at the sub-conscious & now every thought that will arise whether at work or at home or in the social circle & even in the social service where the intention is "Seva" or "Service".Even then its a competition coz once its fed at the sub-conscious then it doesn't matter in which aspect of ur life u r.

Competition & Jealousy go hand in hand.Jealousy has become so over-powering that any amount of logic, values & principles, ethics- everything has been left aside & ppl are ready to do anything just to get ahead of others..Lets check our lives & see  that " How many times are we ready to compromise on anything just because we wanna go ahead of other people- any amount of back-biting, office politics, using unethical means in flourishing our own business or whatever we are doing."

One of the main reasons of stress today is the line that "Life is a competition" so lets explore another belief system (Use it as a belief system, explore, experiment, see the result - like it then accept it)
 that "There is no competition at all. We are not competing with absolutely anybody.
 Each one is on their own journey & each one's capacity is going to be different. Let each one just focus on their own path & put in more than their best & they will get the result in proportion to their input. As will be the input so will be the output so where is the relative factor coming in ? "

 We all must have seen that when a kid came home after exams, parents would ask him "How was ur paper ? " If the child said "It was not good."
Next question would be "How was everyone else's ? & if he replied" auro ka bhi nahi achha hua" then some parents would say "chalo..tab theek hai"..thats where it started..

Lets understand that my performance is not in relative to the others. My result is not dependent on others' result. Its only dependent on my input. Somebody's situations could be favorable - good health, stable financial conditions. Our effort, sincerity, value system would be different. My situational factors, family condition, personal,emotional, physical conditions, efforts are my inputs. It has nothing to do with anybody else around me so where is the competition ?

If  10 people with different parameters put in their input & accordingly they will get the output. Now because of the belief that life is a competition,  irrespective of my input, I want my output to be more than the other person without considering the fact that his input factors were different from me - probably more favorable right now so then I started playing around with the input which meant unethical practices- not only on mine but being unethical to the extent of spoiling others' input..

We can see this everywhere. In families & offices we can see how people keep back-biting, criticizing, spreading different things about others ie. they try to manipulate others inputs so as to have higher output  than everyone else. While doing all this , there is a very dominant input factor which is automatically being worked upon that I'm not aware of - my state of mind & even deeper than that my karma which is getting created. By doing all these manipulations it's possible that my output turns out to be better than everybody else around & I feel "That's it.That's what I wanted.I am No. 1" & People say "All is fair in love & war" but I need to remember that in terms of relationships & even in the field of karma " As will be the energy which goes out so will be the energy that comes back so will be my destiny that will get created."

 The only difference is that we'll get instant results materialistically (promotion, money, so-called status & respect) but after this you'll get so much addicted to success obtained by unfair means that your mind will stop creating2 thoughts, your intellect won't evaluate if its right or wrong & very soon it'll become your sanskaar & you'll be ready to do anything to get ahead of others. This will overpower your mind, intellect & values. Sooner or later you'll get the return of your karmas then you shouldn't question " why did it happen to me ? "

Even in an actual race we are taught to look straight ie. focus on our own path instead of looking at everyone else coz the time v spend on focusing on other people is the time we'll miss out at the end & then we'll lose sight of our own journey.

For eg. Imagine going on a trip with your family in your car & all of u r happily singing & enjoying the journey but if u decide to compete or have a race with another car then if you'll say something to the person who is driving then they will tell you to shut up & won't listen to u coz their entire focus is on competing with the other car. How will d journey become ?  You'll miss out on all d fun & happiness.

That's what exactly happens in our journey called life when we start running in the rat race coz even if you win the race, you'll still remain a rat.

So, lets challenge our old belief system."I have to be better than them."
Lets look at this thought.What am I trying to tell myself & what message am I sending to the world outside.

The compass on the journey is our value system, our qualities, principles & strength. Lets focus on our journey of life.We are not competing with anyone.We don't have to be better than anyone else coz each one of us is already pure & complete.We are now only enjoying what we already have. Happiness is not at the destination. I don't have to reach faster than anyone else to experience that happiness. Its already there within me. Its who I am. On this journey, I'll not create any dis-empowering or negative thought about me or anyone else.

The belief system that life is a competition creates fear & insecurity & hence depletes our happiness.

 * Life is not a competition. Each one is on their own journey, live according to your choices, capacity, values and principles.
 * The output of our actions is in proportion to our inputs. Inputs could be circumstances, health, resources, and value systems. Our output is not dependent on the output of others.
 * Past Karma is a very important input factor. Even if all the present input factors of two people are the same, their past karma are different, therefore output will be different and therefore no competition. 
* If we compromise on our input factor -- values or interfere with the inputs of others, we are creating deep karma and this will influence our output today and in the future.

 {There is nothing called "Healthy Competition" coz anything which is done to put others down cannot be healthy.}

My life is my journey to my destination at my speed,using my capacity & on the basis of my values & principles. Living by the belief system "life is a competition" creates fear, anger, jealousy, hatred & is one of the main reasons why we resort to unethical means. We are not in competition with anyone. Our reference is only our own best & we keep working towards getting better from our best on the journey of improvement & empowerment. Lets co-operate with everyone we are meeting. The positivity & the blessings that we get keeps us contented, happy & successful.

 

You are being guided when you need it most

What does it even mean when people tell us that we are powerful? We certainly don't feel powerful at times. Being powerful means shifting our minds away from our troubles and into solution-thinking. We can access amazing inner-strengths by focusing on solutions rather than problems. But people often only focus and meditate on their problems, fears, worries and anxieties; playing out endless negative scenarios in their minds. This effectively disables their minds innately brilliant problem solving ability. If you relax your mind, it can begin working for you. Your total intelligence knows how to accomplish astounding feats. You just need a clear objective. Get clear. You will surprise yourself! The answer to your problems is to move forward and believe in yourself, which can seem like risk, but it's not — it's trust. Stretching, reaching and fully embracing your problems head-on will activate your untapped abilities. You would not believe what skill, power and ability your total intelligence possesses until you lose your balance. So stretch! Reach for it. Like falling down stairs, where your inner-genius takes over and saves you — your instincts are ready to serve you. But you have put yourself at risk to activate your instinctual genius.

If your options are closing-in around you and you feel panicked, scared and helpless, this is the time for action. Your greatest moments of challenge are a call to defy your timid habits of safety and rush out into life. This is the time to go out, socialize, meet new people, be around friends and embrace living. When you feel the crushing pressure and you feel paralyzed, don't lay in bed and cover your head with the blanket. This is the time to open your windows, let the sunshine in and breathe the fresh air. Do something profoundly irresponsible like forgetting about your problems for a while: go to a movie, go for a walk, create some art or spend time with a sweet friend. Act as though everything will be perfectly fine — because it will. Life has you and it's not letting you go. Only the frantic of fear can harm you. Your calm and centered self knows exactly what to do. In the moments of your deepest need, despair and desperation, what you need more than any other thing, is calm and faith. Your calm mind is the ultimate weapon against your challenges. So relax. Have faith in your abilities. You are being guided when you need it most — if you will just listen.

Quit faking perfect and be yourself

So many people cover-up things within themselves. They smile when they really need to frown. They "laugh" nervously when they are uneasy and uncomfortable. They try to make it "all right" so everything can be "perfect" and "fine." We do this to be accepted. We do this because people guilt us into acting perfect. We fake perfect so others don't have to experience any unpleasant realities, because their life is just as fake as ours. If some people came into contact with anything real they would be shocked out of their minds. This phony life builds-up inside of you until one day you erupt like a volcano and you don't know why. But, some people don't explode, they implode. They fake perfect until they disappear forever and become someone else's version of who they "should" be. Either way it's a total loss of life. You are lost because you have not been being honest with yourself, and your life is largely unexamined and unexerted. You have to do some thinking and know who you are, and then you have to resist compromising your truth for the comfort of others. Don't intentionally be rude, but be you. Some people will see you as an asshole because they don't understand honesty, integrity and honoring oneself. Witnessing honesty frightens some people because they haven't known authenticity in their own life. But really, your abrasion is the rub they may need to open themselves or at least cause them them think. In a world of sleepwalkers an awakened mind is a teacher and a catalyst for new awakenings, whether they want to be or not. A moment of truth is very powerful. Instead of smiling to be polite, just frown. Instead of laughing when you are nervous or uncomfortable, just speak your truth. Instead of acting like everything is all right, proclaim it isn't alright, and talk about your feelings! Honor your truth. Honor yourself. Be real. If you can honor yourself and be real about your discomfort and pain, then your happiness will be just as real. If you can't be real and firm with others about who you are, you will be doomed to a phony, plastic bullshit existence, where you only live for others. When you are real you can move through what ails you instead of being stuck there forever in some sort of "Pleasantville" hell.

There is nothing you will ever do that is more important than being honest about who you really are. As crazy as it may seem, most of us are not who we think we are; we are someone else's ideas. Two words: cultural conditioning. Our identities are tremendously warped and distorted by yesterday's trauma and tomorrow's expectations. The struggle to excavate your true, authentic self from beneath the mountain of conditioning and ridiculous expectation is the epic struggle of your lifetime. Most people are buried alive in a cultural and familial avalanche from the moment they are born, and are never seen or heard from again. Your number one mission in life is to be who you were intended to be. Nothing is more miserable than living a muted existence of inauthenticity. All pain in life comes from suppressing your true identity. You must begin to understand that this is your life; no one else's! This is your precious, wonderful, unique and brief moment in life! Please, I beg you, to at least be honest with yourself and be who you are. If you can't be who you really are then what is life but an unbearable lie? Refuse to be coerced. Resist the suppressive pressure to contract, and instead expand in defiance. Resist and declare that you are alive; you are you, and you are unmasterable and beautifully broken in a fixed world.

Almost all real spirituality is about connecting with your truth. Who you are is an expression of your version of a Higher Power. You insult every version in existence of a Higher Power when you live falsely, timidly and out of accord with your awesomely unique truth. There are different levels of consciousness and awareness. Every discipline of religion and psychology has their own version of this stratification. There are varying levels of spirituality, emotional maturity and intellectuality. These levels effectively isolate us from one-another. The higher realms can see and visit the lower realms, but the lower realms have difficulty seeing or visiting the higher realms. Ascension through all levels of consciousness and awareness can only happen when you live life as you, and not how others think you should live. How could self-realization possibly be anything other than being yourself? Taking advice is fine; by all means, be open-minded, but not to the point of allowing others to obliterate your uniqueness. Evolving and bettering yourself is wonderful, but not if the set of standards and values you adopt smothers you into oblivion in the process. Your uniqueness is the greatest gift you will ever receive in life. Your uniqueness is the master key that unlocks the hidden treasures of your lifetime. Who you are is indispensable to yourself and others. You are worthless to others if you don't know your own self and self-worth. Claw your way out of your slumber. Look deeply within yourself; that is what they mean when they talk about "finding yourself" and "knowing yourself." And once you find yourself — exert yourself unapologetically and unconditionally. Expand into the fullness of you. Dare to simply own the space of your body. Own your space! This is your life! Be you. There is one clear urgency in your life that you must never neglect, and that is — you must be yourself. 

Modify Ur thinking to modify India..

Unity in Diversity 4which India was famous seems 2hv vanished.. M not much into politics n I dont really care whoever wins or loses coz its just a part of d game..I neither hate a specific person der nor do i love someone out der..I'm not an extremist but I wonder is it d same country in whose freedom struggle Ashfaq,Bhagat Singh,Lala lajpat Rai n all d countless ppl of different creeds n religions fought together..

It pains my heart to witness d sorry state of affairs..Ppl use each n everything 2create barriers n divide d nation..be it religion, color or politics..

"Ye dekh k patange bhi hairaan ho gayi ki ab toh chhate bhi hindu aur musalmaan ho gyi.."

In d past couple of months, my country was divided into 2parts - Modi & Kejriwaal to such an extent dat ppl were fighting wid der frnds on dis..Kuch log toh apna opinion dusre pe thopne ki cheshta kar rahe the..1koi status tha "Saare samajhdaar log is ko hi vote karenge"..problem kya hai janaab aapki..aap ho kaun decide karne wale ki kaun akalmand hai kaun bevkoof..

"Kisi k gunaaho ko benakaab na kar, Ishwar baitha hai tu hisaab na kar.."

2day also ppl r fighting wid each other on d same issue..Its gud2xpress ur happiness but y do u need2pull d other person down4it.. Some ppl r writing "haters will hate,fuck d haters,fall in line,falana grade citizens bla bla bla.."

When v can easily accept dat there r diff breeds of dogs n other animals den y is it difficult 2 accept dat it holds true 4us humans also..Y not appreciate d fact dat v r all different coz dats what makes us unique..Der is always a contrary opinion..V ol hv r different definition of rights n wrongs..jo aapke hisab se sahi hai..wo ho sakta hai mere liye galat ho..

Kitni boring life hoti if all of us would have been xerox copies of each other..Difference of think'g is what makes d world beautiful..

Its not some XYZ politician who will come n modify India..Its our thinking dat v need 2modify..A country is made up of its citizens..Its not about a single person.. Gandhiji said it better dan I ever could "Be d change dat u want to see in d world"

 or as Mother Teresa puts it "If all of us sweep our doorstep, world would be clean"..

V can modify India only by modifying r thinking n mentality, by helping each other, respecting each other regardless of der caste,creed or religion or when we will stop dividing our country on d basis of politics n religion den only v will be secular n democratic in d true sense of d word..tab tak bharat gulaam hi rahega..Usey Aaazaad sahi mayne me karna hai toh apni soch ko parivartit karo..U gotta do it 4urself...No1 else can do it 4u.. 

P.S. : I wanna see good days coming but dat will happen only when v will behave properly like human beings..

The Copy Cat Syndrome

 All of us now-a-days tend to copy each other..as in if u look at me & turn your face away then I'll also ignore U..If u tell someone that u know today is xyz's birthday then they reply so what.. he didn't wish me so why should I..?

 If someone visits U & u love cooking n hospitality so u took leave from the office, made 7dishes & u guys had a lovely time..now when u suppose visit their home & they thought that this is not the time for dinner & lunch toh aap apne ghar se kar k hi aaye honge so may be they didn't cook anything..They just served snacks..now ur internal conversation starts..ki see when they came to my place then I made 7dishes..at least they could have made 3..achha sirf khichdi hi bana lete.. n u go in to hurt..

Now u decide that when they'll come to ur place next time then u'll offer only biscuits so u left ur quality coz of them..

Now may be u love cooking so u did it beautifully but I hate cooking..For me, its the biggest waste of time in this world..I can stand & talk & write my heart out & every1 cant do it coz everyone has different qualities..

If suppose I have this quality of going out of my way to help people..I can leave all my work & go to help someone in need..Now when I needed help no one was there for me so I'll go into hurt n will even think of leaving that quality of mine so u see my beautiful sanskaar has become a problem for me..

If suppose I meet 10 people during the day & if I copy everyone of them..They say hello & smile at me so I smile back at them. They ignore me & if I do the same then at the end of the day who am I..? What's my true identity ? Copy ki copy ki copy karte karte  dhula hua print ho jayega..

If v know that the other person will copy us then how can v use it..? Lets radiate only that energy which we feel comfortable while creating, radiating & receiving back..

 Now u see all of us r different & we have our own sets of sanskaars & qualities..Lets see an equation..If something is my quality den it has to be every time with everybody coz its my quality ie. this is who I am irrespective of who U r.. This is my personality..Don't lose ur original quality & don't copy others..Lets be natural..

Close ur eyes & behave only what comes comfortably to u..Lets speak, do & be what comes naturally to me..They don't trust me..doesn't matter..I trust them..They haven't called me up since the past few days..so what..I feel like talking to them..I'll call up instead of waiting for them to call me up.. Even if u keep trusting n d other person keeps doubting then also at least half of the relationship would be saved & sooner or later ur energy of love,compassion,acceptance,empathy,forgiveness, understanding will empower the other person to heal & transform themselves..

so "Be ur best U..U r Unique & awesome just d way u r.." Lets be natural..